Maid Cafe of Bees
by Briixzyanaa
Summary: So, Aria needs ideas for charity, ay? She let Bree decide on what they do, ay? Kuroshitsuji characters are here too, ay? YagamiNoir and I decided to collab and write a sort-of-crack fic! A crossover with Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji. Let's see how this turns out.
1. Chapter 1

**SSSSSSssssso!**

**I'm back. With YagamiNoir, who's a real cool dude. And we wrote this. Because it seemed like a good idea.**

**I guess we'll see.**

_**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Tegami Bachi, just our respective characters and our stupid ideas**_

Bree sat irritated on the steps of the Hive, staring into space. Primus, she was so bored, and Aria just gave her the most ridiculous assignment.  
"Brielle, you have plenty of time on your hands, so I'd like you to do a favour for me." Aria had said, Bree just grunted in response and look over towards the blond woman.  
"I want you to figure out a way to raise money for us to buy this year's Holy Night gifts."  
Seemed easy enough, so she agreed. But now that she actually tried to think of something, it seemed fragging impossible.

She sulked waiting for...something to cross her mind, someone interrupted him.  
"What's wrong, Bree?"  
As she spun around, she saw the recognizable, Albisian Bee boy beside him. His presence startled her somewhat, and she turned around, concealing her embarrassment.  
"Lag!" She wailed, hiding her crimson red face. "Wh-What are you doing here?"  
"Well, it's my day off." Lag replied frankly. "What's in your mind, Bree?"  
The soothing and uncomfortable presence of Bree's secret admirer turned into the annoyance of her given task.  
"Aria asked me to sponsor this year's Holy Night gifts," Bree said, annoyed, "But how?"  
Lag began to think alongside her. "Hm...maybe we could, you know, make a store, a cute shop, a cafe or something, I dunno..."  
Bree finally thought of an idea.  
"Yes!" She leapt up. "That's it!" A sly grin crossed Bree's face and she turned to Lag, "You are a genius."  
Lag blinked, "Huh?"  
"Let's do a cafe! But not just any cafe..." She paused dramatically and leaned closer to Lag to whisper, "A maid cafe..."  
Lag stared at the girl, what was she going on about? He only suggested it because she liked sweets and stuff like that. Lag had a feeling he just started something he'll regret later.  
"Hm, so first things first...location! Very important. 'The hell we going to get a shop from? I wonder if my family will mind if I leech of the government's cash again..."  
Yeah, she's off in her own world now.  
Little did Lag know, her 'world' consisted of more than just this maid cafe.  
'Oh Primus, oh Primus, this is going to be so awesome, I'm going to make Zazie wear a maid dress!'  
Lag had to admit, he was kind of nervous at the grin Bree was making, but, hey, it'd be fun...right?

"But how are we gonna get a shop for us?" Lag asked, interrupting the giggling girl's thoughts, mostly out of fear that she'll go too far.  
"Relax," Bree's eyes gleamed, "I know just the person."  
In an unknown office, a man dressed fully in black was finishing his ridiculous amount of messy paperwork. He seemed to be very skilful in finishing his tasks, and in no time, his messy desk became neat and tidy.  
As he sighed, he removed his foggy glasses and reached for the black mug beside him. Just as he was about to take a sip of the drink, the door slammed open.  
"Yagami!"

The man, Yagami, looked up, immediately unamused as he recognized the voice.

"My bro! Hey! Got a minute?" Bree grinned and skipped towards the man's desk and leaned forward, "We are in the need of your assistance."  
Lag shuffled in after Bree, "Uh, hello."

Yagami sighed again."Bree." He groaned. "How many times have I told you not to barge in like that?"  
"Geez," She whined. "Sorry to interrupt your morning coffee."  
"What do you want?" Yagami asked, his serious demeanour unchanged.  
"I want to make a cafe." She became excited. "And I want you to sponsor me a shop for it."  
Yagami seemed rather startled, but this was not shown on his devil like face.  
"Why should I help you?"

Bree's eyes narrowed in a frown, "Are you implying you won't? Oh, dear. We can't have that."  
Lag looked sideways at Bree in confusion,  
"If I can't get one from you..." a very creepy grin settled on the girl's lips, "I'll take one with force." Her eyes flashed darker, "And you remember what happened last time, yes?"

Yagami felt disappointed. "Fine. Tell me the details. And hurry. I have an appointment with Mr. Phatomhive. Perhaps I can get more ideas." His spiky hair was sweating.

Bree's expression quickly relaxed, "Yay! Alright, so, get me a building, relatively fancy, for a cafe. Uh...that's all I can think of. Wait..." She frowned and then her eyes lit up, "You're going to see Ciel! Oh, man, we go waaaaaay back. He hates me on the outside but on the inside we're BFFs."  
Yagami just deadpanned. He swore this girl was constantly high or something.  
"So, can I come with you? To see Ciel?" Bree tilted her head and smiled in questioning.

"This is a very important matter," Yagami smirked, preparing to leave. "Don't interfere with my company's relationship with Ciel."  
"Do I have to repeat myself?" Bree's evil aura radiated once again.  
Yagami just couldn't tolerate her. "Just behave yourself and don't do anything funny."

Bree made a mock salute, "Yes, sir! I'll be on my best behavior!"

She ignored Yagami rolling his eyes and looked at Lag.  
"Do you want to come too?"

Lag smiled, "Although I haven't met him before, it'd be a pleasure to meet him."  
Suddenly, one of the workers came in.  
"Sir Yagami, Mr. Ciel Phatomhive awaits."  
"I'll be there shortly."  
Yagami, Bree and Lag followed the worker to a special room that was guarded. The door opened, and Yagami saw the young, eye-patched boy in formal clothing sitting on one of the antique sofas; beside him was a bulter with an etiquette as pitch-black as Yagami's.  
"Greetings, Yagami." Ciel greeted. "It's been a while."  
"Yes, it has been a rather long time." Yagami replied with a nod

A low chuckle rang out from behind Yagami and Bree struggled to hide her smirk.  
Ciel frowned, great, _she_ was here.  
"Brielle," He greeted stiffly, earning a smirk from his butler  
"Hello, Ciel. It's been a while, yes?" A cunning grin danced her features, making Ciel try to deduce what damn game she wanted to play now.  
He sighed in irritation, "I assume there is a reason to your being here?"  
Bree nodded, "I have a favour to ask of you."

"What's she up to now?" Ciel whispered to Yagami.  
"I'm tired of her." Yagami replied. "Now, she wants to make a cafe."  
"Great." Ciel smirked.  
"I want to make a cafe. To fund the Holy Night gifts." Bree interrupted impatiently,  
"What's in it for us, Bree?" Ciel ranted. "We have important business to discuss here."

"THIS is why we can't have nice things, Ciel!" Bree snapped, "It's always business, business, business!" Her expression abruptly changed to one of anger to the verge of tears, "You never have time for me anymore...I just wanted to spend time with you and now you're angry at me..."  
Lag on the other hand didn't know whether or not he should take mental notes.

Ciel abruptly shook his head. "What am I going to do with her?"  
"Master," Sebastian suddenly cut in. "Why not respect your friend's wishes and help her for once?"  
Yagami and Ciel were equally astonished. "What?"

"I can be in charge of the cooking." Sebastian grinned. "With this we could each have our own share of what we earn from the cafe. And we can even expand our business in Amberground. Don't you agree this is a good plan, Yagami?"  
"Unequivocally talented as always, Sebastian." Yagami said silently.

This is why I love Sebastian, Bree thought as she grinned. The demon and her had always got along for the sole reason they both enjoyed teasing Ciel. That and he makes some sweet ass cake.  
"I'm okay with this arrangement, but do keep in mind that the money is meant to go to charity...you wouldn't want to steal from the orphans would you? I think the fact that you're helping at all will give business a great reputation boost, no?"  
Ciel gave Lag a look that screamed 'say something', but Lag simply replied with an apologetic smile, 'I'm staying out of this because I like living'

"Well, that settles it then!" Bree burst into laughter. "We'll prepare the decorations and colours and add some employees! I'll see if I can get Sylvette on costumes too!"

Ciel and Yagami looked at each other. This was definitely not going to go by their expectations.

**Review 'n shit.**

**-B and Yagami**


	2. Chapter 2

**We did a thing.**

_**Disclaimer: Yagami and Bree don't own shit**_

Gauche and Aria stood outside the brand new cafe, balloons littered the entrance.  
"So...do we go in?" Aria muttered, Gauche shrugged in response.  
As if planned, the door opened revealing Bree, in her maid dress, smiling widely,  
"Welcome!"

Aria and Gauche were equally astonished by her sudden appearance.  
"Woah, why are you dressed like that?" Gauche asked.  
"It's beacause this is a maid cafe!" Bree giggled. "And I'm chief maid, at your service!"  
"Oh, I see you're here!" Sylvette suddenly appeared, also in her maid outfit. She looked endearing and attractive, and even her own brother would blush at her.  
"Y-You look really cute in that." Gauche stammered.  
"T-Thanks..." She replied shyly, blushing.  
Just then, Yagami and Ciel were chatting while walking to the new cafe. Ciel honestly couldn't believe Bree, how many of her schemes has she roped him into now? Elizabeth is a maid too, so there's no way to weasel himself out.  
Ciel sighed, and Yagami just glanced at the boy out of the corner of his eye, with somewhat amusement.  
It wasn't long until the new cafe came into view. The two males had to admit, Bree did a pretty good job making the place look presentable, she had decorated the outside with balloons and flowers, it looked quite inviting.  
Yagami opened the front door to be greeted by Roda, in a maid outfit, of course.  
"W-Welcome..." She stammered, her face crimson with embarrassment. Ciel's eyebrows rose as he surveyed the inside.  
"You have quite a few customers already." He noted, earning a grin from Bree, which screamed 'Told you so'. Just then, Lag also entered the cafe.  
"Welcome!" Bree was the first the greet him, overjoyed, giving him one of her widest smiles. "What do you think?"  
"I...don't know what to say..." Lag was flabbergasted and couldn't find the words to describe the place.  
Just then, Sylvette also approached and greeted him. "Welcome, Lag!" She threw him a simple smile.  
"Thanks...both of you." Lag smiled 's eyes flickered to Sylvette and a slight blush reached her cheeks. Dammit, why did Sylvette have to show up? Why does Bree care so much?! Bree lightly shook her head to dispel the thoughts and huffed.  
"So, would you like something to eat?"  
Lag grinned, "That sounds good."  
Bree grabbed his hand in excitement, "We have cake! Only the best, of course! You can have any you want because its super good!" She tugged him over to the cake stand, pointing out the different cakes, but then stopped on a certain set.  
"Um...I...I made these ones."

"Really? I'd love to try them." Lag flashed her a smile, and Bree blushed yet again.  
"What would you two like to have today?" Elizabeth asked Ciel and Yagami, who were sitting together on the same table.  
"Ask Sebastian to make me a fruit parfait. Add some croquettes and put some whipped cream, please." Ciel said politely.  
"I'll have a cup of black coffee. Please ask Sebastian to roast the coffee beans before you put them in the tepid water." Yagami said, equally polite.  
"Thanks! Your order will arrive shortly." Elizabeth gave a curt nod, and hurried into the kitchen.  
"Is black coffee the only thing you drink?" Ciel asked. "It seems rather dull to have only the same thing every day. Don't you get tired of it?"  
"Perhaps it has been...a habit." Yagami replied bluntly. "Besides, I dislike sweet stuff."

Elizabeth flashed a smile at Bree as she passed her and Lag, Bree attempted to return a smile but it came out wry and embarrassed.  
"Um...well, if you want...you can try them, I suppose." Bree muttered, trying to act indifferent. Sylvette appeared seemingly from nowhere and linked arms with Bree,  
"Are we letting Lag try the cakes? I made some too!" Sylvette beamed,  
"Really? I'd like to try those too." Lag offered, making Sylvette smile wider.  
"I cook everyday so mine are much better than Bree's." she joked, making Bree scowl  
"That's not true! My family say I'm the queen of deserts! There is not a form of cake I have no tried!"  
"Then let's test it!"  
"Fine!"  
Both girl's turned to look at Lag sharply."O...kay...?" Lag stammered, his face covered entirely in sweat. "I suppose I'll try Bree's cake first."  
Delighted, Bree took a slice of strawberry cake she made and placed it on Lag's table.  
Lag tasted the cake, savouring it slowly in his mouth.  
"It's...it's good! Love it!" Lag gave a wide smile, and Bree felt proud of herself, yet her face was stained with pink blotches for the umpteenth time.  
Sylvette became rather uncomfortable.  
"Now it's my turn!" She wailed, and she removed a slice of chocolate cake and served it to Lag.  
Again, Lag slowly tasted the cake.  
"This is also really good! I don't know what to say!" Lag's response to the cake was a wide smile, and Sylvette crossed her fingers in girls were over the moon, but it didn't answer their original question. Whose cake was better?  
Bree bit her lip impatiently, Sylvette just kept smiling.  
Should they ask straight out? Or would that seem childish?  
Lag smiled at both girls, but could feel the tension.  
"So, uh...a draw?" He suggested, making both girls scowl and look at each other.  
"Fine." Bree decided, she managed to hide her irritation, but she can still get...revenge, in a sense, "But I need a favor."  
"Uh, sure. What is it?" Lag couldn't help but be nervous.  
"We're down one maid." She declared, Sylvette recoiled in surprise but her shock changed into a wide grin.  
"...You're what?"

"You heard me." Bree giggled, her eyes gleaming gold. "We're in need of an extra maid."  
Lag recognized that look. She gave that look every time she had some weird plot. Before he knew it, he realized what she meant.  
"Don't tell me you're gonna..."  
"To the dressing room, now!" Bree laughed, and the girls hogged him to the dressing room. Lag threw Ciel and Yagami a look that screamed "Help me!", but Ciel merely giggled in surprise, whilst Yagami didn't give a damn at all, savouring his coffee.  
"Exquisite." He muttered. "Perhaps I'll come here every day for coffee."

"I can't believe you're doing this." Lag muttered as Bree ransacked for the PERFECT maid outfit, with Sylvette on guard.  
"Oh, you know you secretly like it." Sylvette snickered,  
"Aha!" Bree found a lovely little sky blue maid outfit, with silk bows around the hem, "Nice!" She then turned towards Lag with a devious glint in her different colored eyes. "Look what you get to wear."  
Lag scoffed, "I am not wearing that."  
"You don't have a choice,"  
"Are you going to make me?"  
"Don't tempt me."  
Lag swallowed harshly, he knew Bree would indeed make him, should she have to, as the known Queen of torture. He stared at the maid outfit for a long time, trying to get through his mental debate. It would be easier if he just gave in, but it would be so humiliating...  
But then again, would he really have a choice in the matter?  
Lag sighed. As the girls came out of the dressing room, practically everyone, even Yagami, couldn't take their eyes off the new maid.  
Despite the fact that he was a boy, Lag looked extremely feminine in that maid outfit. His face turned crimson red, adding his adoreness.  
"So cute!" Bree squeaked, trying to control her laughter, as Sylvette giggled in delight. Lag passed by Gauche and Aria, whom also gave him chuckles; Roda also found it hard to control her laughter. Yagami merely looked at him as Ciel gave a cough as to control his laughter.  
And then, the cafe became noisy by a loud laughing. It was Zazie, sitting on one of the tables with Connor.  
"Dude, you look funny in that!" Zazie laughed as hard as he could. Connor merely smiled at him in pity.  
"Oh good, you're here!" Bree hurried over to the two Bee boys. "Come on, into the room!" She took Zazie by the arm and Sylvette shoved him into the dressing room.  
"What are you guys-"

"You really think we're going to let Lag have all the fun?" Bree asked, raising her eyebrows, Zazie's face paled  
"You don't mean..."  
"Oh yes."  
"I hate you."  
"No you don't."  
And so Zazie was dressed in a lavender maid dress, with extra frills.  
"You must serve Connor." Sylvette told him, and literally pushed him into the front of the Cafe. Everyone literally laughed at the crossdressing Zazie with all their might, with the possible exception of Yagami, whom merely stared at him in astonishment. Bree and Sylvette began to have stomach ache after all that harsh laughing as Zazie looked really funny in that outfit! Zazie merely blushed in embarrassment, and Lag laughed at him, in a sense of payback.  
"Look who's laughing now," Connor giggled.

"Alright, boys-I mean, girls, attend to our dear guests!" Bree smirked, leaving Lag and Zazie to fend for themselves.  
Bree and Sylvette didn't know how to feel about the guys that called to Lag, should they feel jealous...or laugh?  
Laugh. Definitely laugh.

**And there we have it.**

**Yup.**

**Review and stuff.**

**-B and Yagami**


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